‘What use is this pride of appearance, of which so much is risked, and so much is suffered. It cannot promote hate or ease pain.’ – Benjamin Franklin, The Way to Wealth
Today, we think we must do what the society expects us to do during a particular time, or when we reach a particular age. We believe we have to own particular things or behave in a specific way for the society to accept us. For instance, many people believe they must appear prosperous for the society to accept them.
However, this idea that we have to do or have what the society expects is a foolish idea. It is an ideology that can prevent you from reaching your full potential.
I wish people knew they don’t have to be anything at any particular time. The society must not dictate what you should do or have. Whatever you have or do is your business since it mainly affects you.
For example, if you get married because people expected you to marry, the marriage problems will only affect you, and the funny thing is that all those who expected you to marry might be unwilling to help you tackle the marriage problems. Also, if you get a child because people expected you to get one, the people who expected you to have a child won’t help you raise it.
That being said, if you want to do your thing, do it. Never avoid following your ambitions because you want to do what the society expects. Many people, in their deathbeds, reveal they regret ignoring their ambitions because they wanted to conform to the society. They feared to curve their own path because the society expected them to get a job, marry, get children, and die.
For this reason, no one should ever tell you that you should marry because you have reached a certain age, or that you have to get a job because you just graduated.
The society’s expectations might stress you although they might fail to add value to your life. If you want to be happy, just do what you want to do at your own time and pace without trying to conform to the society. No one should tell you what you must do. We are all unique in some way. We come from different backgrounds, and we have different paths to follow. Do what you feel is right for you at your own time as long as you don’t harm anyone, because at the end of the day, you are the only one who knows what makes you happy, and you are the only one who will suffer from your decisions or actions.
You came into this world to enjoy life and have an impact on people’s lives. You didn’t come to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of other people’s opinions and ideas of what you should be doing. Feel free and do whatever makes you happy whatever time you want. There is no universal rule that requires YOU TO BE AT A PARTICULAR PLACE OR TO DO A PARTICULAR THING AT ANY PARTICULAR TIME.
We stifle our doubts and follow the flock because we do not believe that we can be the directors of our lives – Alain De Botton, The Consolations of Philosophy
What is popular is not necessarily what is right – Alain De Botton, The Consolations of Philosophy
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The Most Effective Gratitude Formula
I embraced gratitude after reading that gratitude is beneficial for one’s mental and spiritual health. However, I never experienced the benefits of gratitude even after practicing it for a while.
It then dawned on me that I used the wrong gratitude formula after reading Joe Vitale’s book, The Secret Prayer. In the book, Joe Vitale provides an amazing gratitude formula that enabled me to experience all the benefits of gratitude.
According to Joe Vitale, we must practice gratitude by being thankful for all the small things in our lives. He thus provided the following example of a gratitude prayer for a small pottery bowl:
‘Thank you, bowl, for being in my life and for being present in this corner of my desk to brighten and beautify this corner of my life. I am so deeply appreciative of your rich red, which reminds me of manifestation and the root chakra. I appreciate your red color, beautiful little pottery bowl. Thank you for reminding me how connected to the earth we are as I think about the clay, which the potter utilized to mold and shape you, beautiful pottery bowl (Joe Vitale, The Secret Prayer).’
This gratitude prayer reminded me about the many small things that I took for granted even though they helped me in my daily life. For this reason, I created gratitude prayers for my laptop, spoon, chair, table, cup, shoes, bed, mattress, and every small thing I had.
For instance, I thanked my laptop for enabling me to conduct internet research and post articles. Primarily, I thanked it for enabling me to make money from home. Besides this, I thanked my mattress for enabling me to sleep comfortably, and for reminding me that some people sleep on a cold floor.
The gratitude prayers for my laptop, mattress and all other small things made me realize that I always take my blessings for granted. I realized how foolish I was not to notice that I am blessed with the little things I need to live a comfortable life.
You must also try this gratitude formula and you’ll be amazed by how it will make you a positive and happy person. Create a gratitude prayer for everything that makes you happy or comfortable. By doing this, you’ll realize that you are always blessed even in hard times because you never lack the small but important things. You seldom lack food to eat, clothes to wear, a bed to sleep, a phone to communicate with your loved ones, and many other things.
Peace be with you.
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7 Things We Must Stop Doing If We Want to be Happy
We all want to be happy because happiness is a wonderful emotion. However, we seldom find happiness because we constantly do things that steal our happiness. Some people are conscious of these things, while most of us aren’t.
This article strives to increase your happiness levels by listing the seven major things we must stop doing if we want to be happier.
1.Living Up to the Society’s Expectations
We love living up to the society’s expectations, and we thus become unhappy when we are in a position that prevents us from aligning with what the society wants. Besides, living up to the society’s expectations makes us unhappy because it prevents us from being authentic.
2.Overanalyzing the Future
Overanalyzing the future by trying to pinpoint all possibilities steals our happiness because it results in anxiety. It makes us constantly worry about the things that can go wrong, even when they are beyond our control.
3.Wanting What Others Have
Most of us are addicted to wanting what celebrities, politicians and our Facebook friends have. We think we’ll live happier lives if we obtain what these folks have. Little do we know that wanting what others have causes unhappiness because it results in envy and makes us feel inadequate.
4.Watching the News
The News makes us over-focus on the negative part of life by showing us how other people are suffering, and it usually results in us worrying about things that are beyond our circle of influence.
5.Forcing People to Behave the Way We Want
We become frustrated when we force people to behave the way we want because we can’t control their environment, thoughts, and everything that affects their behavior. I stopped forcing my friends and siblings to behave the way I want, and I strived to accept their behavior after realizing that my efforts often resulted in anger and disappointment, which eventually made me unhappy.
6.Identifying With Our Material Possessions
Identifying our worth with our material possessions leads to sadness when we lose them. Moreover, it results in us constantly worrying about losing our possessions and how we’ll replace them.
‘Anger, resentment, and hatred are poisons that you drink, and you expect somebody else to die.’ –Sadhguru, Indian Mystic
Holding a grudge against someone makes us unhappy because it leads to negative emotions such as anger, hate, jealousy, and resentment. Furthermore, it makes us dwell on bad feelings or the events that led to the grudge. Also, it prevents us from enjoying the present moment by making us focus on how we’ll get back at those who wronged us.
The universe provided us with everything we need to be happy. However, we sabotage our happiness by doing the above things. We must, therefore, stop doing them if we want to be happy.
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