‘What use is this pride of appearance, of which so much is risked, and so much is suffered. It cannot promote hate or ease pain.’ – Benjamin Franklin, The Way to Wealth
Today, we think we must do what the society expects us to do during a particular time, or when we reach a particular age. We believe we have to own particular things or behave in a specific way for the society to accept us. For instance, many people believe they must appear prosperous for the society to accept them.
However, this idea that we have to do or have what the society expects is a foolish idea. It is an ideology that can prevent you from reaching your full potential.
I wish people knew they don’t have to be anything at any particular time. The society must not dictate what you should do or have. Whatever you have or do is your business since it mainly affects you.
For example, if you get married because people expected you to marry, the marriage problems will only affect you, and the funny thing is that all those who expected you to marry might be unwilling to help you tackle the marriage problems. Also, if you get a child because people expected you to get one, the people who expected you to have a child won’t help you raise it.
That being said, if you want to do your thing, do it. Never avoid following your ambitions because you want to do what the society expects. Many people, in their deathbeds, reveal they regret ignoring their ambitions because they wanted to conform to the society. They feared to curve their own path because the society expected them to get a job, marry, get children, and die.
For this reason, no one should ever tell you that you should marry because you have reached a certain age, or that you have to get a job because you just graduated.
The society’s expectations might stress you although they might fail to add value to your life. If you want to be happy, just do what you want to do at your own time and pace without trying to conform to the society. No one should tell you what you must do. We are all unique in some way. We come from different backgrounds, and we have different paths to follow. Do what you feel is right for you at your own time as long as you don’t harm anyone, because at the end of the day, you are the only one who knows what makes you happy, and you are the only one who will suffer from your decisions or actions.
You came into this world to enjoy life and have an impact on people’s lives. You didn’t come to sacrifice your happiness for the sake of other people’s opinions and ideas of what you should be doing. Feel free and do whatever makes you happy whatever time you want. There is no universal rule that requires YOU TO BE AT A PARTICULAR PLACE OR TO DO A PARTICULAR THING AT ANY PARTICULAR TIME.
We stifle our doubts and follow the flock because we do not believe that we can be the directors of our lives – Alain De Botton, The Consolations of Philosophy
What is popular is not necessarily what is right – Alain De Botton, The Consolations of Philosophy
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5 Major Reasons Worry is Useless
Although you would love to worry less, you mostly find yourself worrying about everything. You worry about losing your loved ones, lacking money, failing to get a promotion, and many other things.
You worry because you focus on the negative side of life and you are unaware that worry is useless because of the following reasons:
1.You Don’t Know Everything About the Future
Worrying implies that you know everything that might happen in the future. However, there are high chances that you haven’t reached the level of consciousness that allows you to know what might happen in the future. For this reason, your worry is founded on assumptions or beliefs based on past experiences, and you don’t know whether they are accurate because you don’t know everything about the future.
2.You Might Die Tomorrow
You don’t know when you’ll die because death is unpredictable. You can die in the next moment or tomorrow while crossing the road or driving to work. Worrying is thus useless because you might be worried about a future that might arrive when you are dead.
3. The Future is Unpredictable
You worry because you believe life will happen according to your predictions. However, life is always changing. The social, political, and economic environment is constantly changing, and there are high chances your predictions are false. Besides this, although bad things can happen tomorrow, good things can happen regardless of what is happening in your life right now because the future is unpredictable.
4.The Only Reality is Now
The future is unreal because it doesn’t exist outside your mind. It’s only real in your imagination which is based on your subjective understanding of life. The only reality you can experience is ‘the now’ because you’ll always exist in ‘the now.’ For this reason, worrying about the future is useless.
5.Worry Doesn’t Change Anything
Worry is useless because it doesn’t change anything. You can’t create a favorable future by continually worrying about it because worry prevents you from seeing things clearly. Besides this, it wastes the time and mental energy you could have used to take action that will create a desirable future.
Focus on how you can create a desirable future, instead of focusing on anxious thoughts. Moreover, shift from worry to faith by realizing that Infinite Intelligence/the Universe is always working on creating a bright future for you because you are its physical extension. Also, let worry alarm you, but don’t dwell on it. Lastly, trust that everything will fall into place and realize that you have the power to create your ideal future.
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The Top Three Biggest Fears That Prevent Us from Succeeding, and How to Overcome Them
Fear is our enemy because it prevents us from taking action that leads to success.
After analyzing fear for a while, I realized the three main types of fear that prevent us from succeeding.
Here are they:
1.The Fear of Negative Opinions
Most people avoid doing what might lead to their success because they fear negative opinions. For instance, some of my friends are good at singing, but they avoid pursuing music as a career because they fear people’s negative opinions. Also, I know people who avoid starting businesses because they fear negative opinions.
Our huge ego is responsible for this fear because it desires praises, and therefore, avoids anything that might lead to ridicule.
Overcoming the Fear of Negative Opinions
Realize that you’ll consider yourself a BIG FOOL if you remember how you avoided doing what could lead to success because you feared negative opinions. Moreover, understand that negative opinions represent people’s viewpoints, and they have nothing to do with you. Lastly, realize that avoiding something because
2.The Fear of Failure
The biggest impediment to success is the fear of failure. We avoid investing in worthy projects because we fear failure. We fear losing our money or wasting our effort and time on something that might fail, and we fear that people might despise us when we fail. Furthermore, we fear failure because we want to be successful as quickly as possible.
Overcoming the Fear of Failure
Overcome the fear of failure by realizing that all great people failed. Besides this, know that you’ll be at peace with yourself if you try and fail, but regret deeply if you avoid trying and then see people succeed in what you avoided. Also, understand that life provides second chances and for this reason, you can always try again when you fail.
3.The Fear of Appearing Broke
Most of us have good business ideas but avoid pursuing them because we fear appearing broke while actualizing them. We know that actualizing our business ideas might make us appear broke because we’ll have to avoid investing in our lifestyle so that we invest in our ideas until they become profitable.
Overcoming the Fear of Appearing Broke
Know that although you might appear broke for a while, you might have more than enough after actualizing your idea.
Realize that the three fears only exist in your mind, and therefore, you’ll be the biggest fool in the world if you allow them to impede your progress. Allow them to make you cautious but prevent them from stopping you from doing the only things that might lead to your success. Lastly, realize that the GOOD LIFE IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF FEAR.
‘Fear is not real; the only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future.’ – Will Smith
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