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Three Unbelievable Factors That Make You Care What Other People Say/Think, And How To Deal With Them

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One of the leading causes of anxiety is worrying too much about what other people think/say about us.

Besides causing anxiety, caring what other people say/think about you limits authenticity and eradicates self-confidence. Therefore, you must avoid this behavior at all costs because its disastrous effects can prevent you from making progress.

For you to stop caring about other people’s opinions/thoughts, you must identify the primary causes of this behavior, and deal with them effectively.

I managed to pinpoint the three main factors that make you succumb to this behavior.

  1. Insecurity

Being insecure means, you do not believe in yourself. An insecure person doubts his abilities and believes that there’s nothing significant s/he can do.

Insecurity makes you care what other people say because it often seeks validation. When you don’t believe in yourself, you will always want people to tell you that something is good before you do it.For example, you won’t pursue a particular career if people think it’s not a good one, or you won’t wear a particular dress if people say they don’t like it.

Therefore, the more insecure you feel, the more you will care about what other people think/say, because you will always seek validation.

Advice

Build your self-esteem because you will never seek people’s approval if you have high self-worth. Therefore, you will never care what people say/think about you.

  1. A Huge Ego

The ego is the beliefs/ideas you have about yourself. It can also be defined as how you feel about yourself.

A big ego makes you believe that you are more important than others.

A huge ego ensures that you care what others think/say, because you’ll always want people to praise and talk about you when you have a big ego.

Besides this, a massive ego will make you believe that everybody is thinking about you. Therefore, it will make you always concerned with what others are thinking/saying about you

Advice

Embrace humility. When you are humble, you will not need recognition to reinforce your sense of self-importance. Therefore, you will care less about other people’s thoughts/opinions about you.

  1. Lack of Something Useful to Focus On

It’s easy to fall into the trap of caring what people think/say if you don’t have something useful to focus on.

Your mind is like a fertile garden. It will lean towards factors such as negativity, gossip, and thinking about other people’s opinions if it doesn’t have something important to focus on.

Advice

When you focus on a project/goal, you’ll seldom care about other people’s opinions about you, because your mind will concentrate on how it will achieve this goal.

Therefore, if you find yourself idle, find something constructive that you love, and lose yourself in it. The moment you immerse yourself in a project/goal, you will have no time to think about people’s opinions because the mind can only focus on one thing. You will only think about your project, and you will seldom care about what other people think of you.

Concluding Remarks

In conclusion, if you tend to care so much about other people’s opinions, you can eliminate the habit by building your self-esteem, practicing humility, and finding something useful to focus on.

I never care about people’s opinions about me, and I find my life incredibly peaceful. I often do whatever I want, whenever I want. And, I follow my ‘unrealistic,’ dreams because I managed to ignore what people think or say about me.

Thank You So Much For Reading.

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2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Cathy Chapman

    April 27, 2018 at 5:05 pm

    I love the “lack of something useful to focus on.” When we are focused on something meaningful, we “forget” to check in on what others might be saying.

    • Isaac Wechuli

      April 27, 2018 at 5:45 pm

      true, I discovered this from my experience. it dawned on me that I mostly succumbed to caring what people thought about me when I was idle

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IDEAS

5 Key Reasons Why We Talk About Others

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Sometimes, when we meet with our friends, the main thing we do is to talk about other folks. We often talk about what some of our friends, relatives, or foes are doing, and where they are in the journey of life. Although we know that talking about others is a waste of time and energy, we still do so every now and then.

As usual, I always diagnose a poor behavior so that I know where it comes from, and for this reason, I thought about the reasons why we talk about others, and I discovered five primary causes of this behavior.

  1. Human Beings Are Social Creatures

Ancient human beings were highly social creatures because they lived in groups, and depended on them for survival. As social creatures, they were deeply concerned about the whereabouts of other members of the society because they wanted to know if everyone was safe. Moreover, their social nature made them want to know if other people’s actions aligned with the society’s norms and values.

For this reason, they always talked about other people so that they know where they are, and if they were respecting the social norms and values. This need to know other people’s behaviors and their whereabouts persisted into modern times, and for this reason, we find talking about other people irresistible.

  1. We Want To Know Our Social Status

 “Social status is the honor or prestige attached to one’s position in the society. It may also refer to a rank or position that one holds in a group.” – Definitions.net

Today, we value our social status because it determines how people will treat us and the type of friends and spouse we’ll have. Besides this, we think the social status is important because most of us use it to determine our self-worth.

For this reason, we love talking about others so that we know our social status and assess our self-worth. We want to know if our socio-economic lives are better or worse than others so that we know our place in the society.

  1. It feels good

Sometimes we feel good when we talk about people that have more problems than us. Discussing these people makes us know that our problems are small compared to most people’s problems.

Also, talking about others feels good because it enables you to get into someone’s life. It’s always fun to know how other people live, and this is why we like watching movies, and reality television as they allow us to enter into the lives of other people.

  1. We have some emotion around those we mostly talk about

We love talking about some people because we love them dearly. For instance, our love for our spouses makes us talk about them in their absence because we can’t stop thinking about them. Similarly, we also love talking about the people we hate because it enables us to cope with our own feelings.

Personally, I have realized that jealous individuals often love talking about others the most because that is the only way they can release their suppressed feelings and emotions.

  1. To Pass Time

Talking about people is one of the best time passing activity. Sometimes when talking with friends, we exhaust all topics and realize that we can pass time by talking about other people. We might not have any emotional connection with these individuals, but we just talk about them because we have nothing else to do.

Have you ever realized that you mostly talk about other people when you are idle? If you are busy, you’ll seldom find time to talk about others because you’ll have many time passing activities.

In conclusion

I believe it’s not bad to talk about others when we are doing it out of love. However, this behavior is bad if you do it out of comparison, hate, or jealousy because you will start directing a large percentage of your time and energy on the people you are talking about. Moreover, you’ll build feelings of resentment if you continuously talk about the people you hate.

To avoid wasting time talking about others, you must always use your free time to do things that will make you progress in your endeavors.

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HIDDEN TRUTHS

4 Sad Reasons Why Life is Tough For Most People

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Today, life is almost tough for everyone, and for this reason, many folks are depressed. Recently, the World Health Organization revealed that suicide rates caused by depression have increased by 60 percent since the 1950s. Besides this, physicians claim that depression will be the most widespread mental illness in the next two years.

Anyway, people all over the world are complaining about life’s toughness, and almost everyone doubts if life is really a blessing. However, if you take a closer look at life, you’ll realize that it’s absurd to conclude that life is hard because some people are living a peaceful and easy life.

That being said, I firmly believe that those who believe life is difficult are mostly responsible for making it tough. For instance, a young man who struggles to make ends meet because he started a family before he became financially stable is fully responsible for toughening his life.

Like this young man, most of us are responsible for making our lives tough, and we end up concluding that life is tough.

In today’s article, I will share with you four reasons why life is tough for most people.

  1. Many People are doing what they hate

Life is tough for many individuals around the world because they are working in jobs they hate five to six days a week. They hate their bosses and their workplaces, but they continue working because they believe that’s the only way to survive.

There is no way life can be easy for you if you do what you hate 24/7. You will definitely become depressed and life will be difficult for you because you will be continuously forcing yourself to work.

I believe The Creator intended us to work, but he never designed work to be tedious and boring. Work was meant to be adventurous, exciting, and fulfilling because it helps us survive. However, we have been conditioned to believe that we have to work in boring jobs all our life for us to have what we want. For this reason, many people do what they hate and they end up making their lives hard.

People who do what they love don’t necessarily find life easy but at least their lives are meaningful because they wake up eager to work.

  1. People Are Living Beyond Their Means

Today, many folks are living beyond their means because they want to appear successful. These behavior makes their lives tough because it makes them to constantly get into debt.

You will never enjoy life if you constantly live beyond your means because deep inside, you will always know that you are living a lie. Besides this, you will always be unsatisfied with your life, because you will constantly compare yourself with others who are far better than you. These factors will make life difficult for you.

  1. We don’t care about each other

Life is tough for many people also because we rarely help each other. In ancient Africa, people found life easier because we were so kind to each other that we left food and water at our doorsteps for people to eat and drink.

However, today life is tough for many individuals because the modern society is selfish and egocentric. We care less about each other, and we seldom bother helping people who are going through hard times hence making life tough for them. We adhere to stupid notions like, ‘Every man for himself and God for us all,’ because we have become an individualistic and stupid society that focuses on showing off useless and valueless things instead of helping each other.

I believe life would have been easier if we all loved and helped each other. We could have created a heaven on earth if everybody was kind and generous.

  1. People Are Stuck in Unhappy Marriages

Life is extremely tough to folks who can’t get out of unhappy or abusive marriages. These folks know that the only way they can experience happiness and freedom is to leave their marriages but they can’t do so because they fear the consequences of divorce or separation. They, therefore, resolve to live a tough marriage life full of constant fights because they believe it’s the only option.

Life is obviously tough for these guys because they are forced to live with the people they don’t love 24/7. How is that possible?

Conclusion

Is life tough for you? Do you agree with me on the above reasons why people find life to be tough? I believe life is only tough because we toughen it. And for this reason, we can make it a little bit easier if we help each other, and avoid doing what we hate

You are welcome to air your views in the comment box below

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