Sometimes, when we meet with our friends, the main thing we do is to talk about other folks. We often talk about what some of our friends, relatives, or foes are doing, and where they are in the journey of life. Although we know that talking about others is a waste of time and energy, we still do so every now and then.
As usual, I always diagnose a poor behavior so that I know where it comes from, and for this reason, I thought about the reasons why we talk about others, and I discovered five primary causes of this behavior.
- Human Beings Are Social Creatures
Ancient human beings were highly social creatures because they lived in groups, and depended on them for survival. As social creatures, they were deeply concerned about the whereabouts of other members of the society because they wanted to know if everyone was safe. Moreover, their social nature made them want to know if other people’s actions aligned with the society’s norms and values.
For this reason, they always talked about other people so that they know where they are, and if they were respecting the social norms and values. This need to know other people’s behaviors and their whereabouts persisted into modern times, and for this reason, we find talking about other people irresistible.
- We Want To Know Our Social Status
“Social status is the honor or prestige attached to one’s position in the society. It may also refer to a rank or position that one holds in a group.” – Definitions.net
Today, we value our social status because it determines how people will treat us and the type of friends and spouse we’ll have. Besides this, we think the social status is important because most of us use it to determine our self-worth.
For this reason, we love talking about others so that we know our social status and assess our self-worth. We want to know if our socio-economic lives are better or worse than others so that we know our place in the society.
- It feels good
Sometimes we feel good when we talk about people that have more problems than us. Discussing these people makes us know that our problems are small compared to most people’s problems.
Also, talking about others feels good because it enables you to get into someone’s life. It’s always fun to know how other people live, and this is why we like watching movies, and reality television as they allow us to enter into the lives of other people.
- We have some emotion around those we mostly talk about
We love talking about some people because we love them dearly. For instance, our love for our spouses makes us talk about them in their absence because we can’t stop thinking about them. Similarly, we also love talking about the people we hate because it enables us to cope with our own feelings.
Personally, I have realized that jealous individuals often love talking about others the most because that is the only way they can release their suppressed feelings and emotions.
- To Pass Time
Talking about people is one of the best time passing activity. Sometimes when talking with friends, we exhaust all topics and realize that we can pass time by talking about other people. We might not have any emotional connection with these individuals, but we just talk about them because we have nothing else to do.
Have you ever realized that you mostly talk about other people when you are idle? If you are busy, you’ll seldom find time to talk about others because you’ll have many time passing activities.
I believe it’s not bad to talk about others when we are doing it out of love. However, this behavior is bad if you do it out of comparison, hate, or jealousy because you will start directing a large percentage of your time and energy on the people you are talking about. Moreover, you’ll build feelings of resentment if you continuously talk about the people you hate.
To avoid wasting time talking about others, you must always use your free time to do things that will make you progress in your endeavors.
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