Sometimes, when we meet with our friends, the main thing we do is to talk about other folks. We often talk about what some of our friends, relatives, or foes are doing, and where they are in the journey of life. Although we know that talking about others is a waste of time and energy, we still do so every now and then.
As usual, I always diagnose a poor behavior so that I know where it comes from, and for this reason, I thought about the reasons why we talk about others, and I discovered five primary causes of this behavior.
- Human Beings Are Social Creatures
Ancient human beings were highly social creatures because they lived in groups, and depended on them for survival. As social creatures, they were deeply concerned about the whereabouts of other members of the society because they wanted to know if everyone was safe. Moreover, their social nature made them want to know if other people’s actions aligned with the society’s norms and values.
For this reason, they always talked about other people so that they know where they are, and if they were respecting the social norms and values. This need to know other people’s behaviors and their whereabouts persisted into modern times, and for this reason, we find talking about other people irresistible.
- We Want To Know Our Social Status
“Social status is the honor or prestige attached to one’s position in the society. It may also refer to a rank or position that one holds in a group.” – Definitions.net
Today, we value our social status because it determines how people will treat us and the type of friends and spouse we’ll have. Besides this, we think the social status is important because most of us use it to determine our self-worth.
For this reason, we love talking about others so that we know our social status and assess our self-worth. We want to know if our socio-economic lives are better or worse than others so that we know our place in the society.
- It feels good
Sometimes we feel good when we talk about people that have more problems than us. Discussing these people makes us know that our problems are small compared to most people’s problems.
Also, talking about others feels good because it enables you to get into someone’s life. It’s always fun to know how other people live, and this is why we like watching movies, and reality television as they allow us to enter into the lives of other people.
- We have some emotion around those we mostly talk about
We love talking about some people because we love them dearly. For instance, our love for our spouses makes us talk about them in their absence because we can’t stop thinking about them. Similarly, we also love talking about the people we hate because it enables us to cope with our own feelings.
Personally, I have realized that jealous individuals often love talking about others the most because that is the only way they can release their suppressed feelings and emotions.
- To Pass Time
Talking about people is one of the best time passing activity. Sometimes when talking with friends, we exhaust all topics and realize that we can pass time by talking about other people. We might not have any emotional connection with these individuals, but we just talk about them because we have nothing else to do.
Have you ever realized that you mostly talk about other people when you are idle? If you are busy, you’ll seldom find time to talk about others because you’ll have many time passing activities.
I believe it’s not bad to talk about others when we are doing it out of love. However, this behavior is bad if you do it out of comparison, hate, or jealousy because you will start directing a large percentage of your time and energy on the people you are talking about. Moreover, you’ll build feelings of resentment if you continuously talk about the people you hate.
To avoid wasting time talking about others, you must always use your free time to do things that will make you progress in your endeavors.
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Why Ego is the Main Source of Anger and Envy (Ego Part 2)
After realizing that the ego impedes personal growth, I decided to study and contemplate about it. It then dawned on me that the ego is our enemy because it’s the primary source of anger and envy.
The ego as I defined in the article, The Era of the Ego and the Destruction of Intuition, is a feeling of self-importance. The ego makes you believe you are more important than other members of the society and, therefore, you must be heard, respected, admired, and followed. It makes you believe that you are always right and everybody else is wrong.
The ego can result in you being angered by petty issues. For instance, it can make you outraged by any action or word that appears to disrespect you. Insults (even from kids), and petty jokes will make you angry if you are egoistic. You’ll even get mad when people ignore you or argue with you because the ego believes you deserve admiration and no one must argue against your beliefs because you are always right.
Anger arises when you misinterpret things. The ego will thus make you prone to anger since it’s the King of misinterpretation. For instance, if an individual accidentally steps on your foot, the ego will believe it was intentional hence making you angry.
Besides causing anger, the ego also causes envy. You become envious when you feel resentful when other people progress, succeed, or attain something you don’t have.
The ego causes envy because it hates to see others appear more important than you. If your neighbor succeeds or buys something you believe makes her more important than you, the ego feels bad because your neighbor’s progress makes it feel inferior or less important. The ego always wants you to be ahead of everybody so that you become the most important person. It’s hurt when others progress faster than you and appear more important hence making you feel envious.
For this reason, the next time you feel angry or envious, realize that it’s the ego causing these feelings. Then separate yourself from the ego and know that it’s an illusion since it isn’t your true self. Your true self is an extension of Infinite Intelligence/Cosmic Consciousness, and it never gets angry because it interprets everything positively. Moreover, it’s never envious because it understands that we are all connected and we must rejoice in others’ success.
Thanks For Reading.
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6 Unique Ways to Deal with Anxiety
I used to suffer from chronic anxiety because I worried about everything. Luckily, I discovered how to eradicate this gnawing feeling.
Anxiety is mainly defined as ‘feelings of tension or worry about a future outcome.’ Many people today are anxious about everything. In the article, ‘The Era of Anxiety and the Destruction of Intuition,’ I described the factors that make modern society anxious.
Anyway, anxiety has many side-effects. It causes sleep problems, digestive disorders, and prevents us from having a clear mind. For this reason, you must strive to get rid of anxious thoughts whenever they attack you.
Here are 6 ways you can deal with anxious thoughts:
1.Meditate on Infinite Intelligence
Think about the power that created the universe. Think about its greatness and willingness to support life. Realize that it exists in all life forms including you, and therefore, you have nothing to worry about if the power that created the universe exists within you.
2.Watch Nature Documentaries
Watching nature documentaries makes you shift from
3.Sing a Song of Praise
I started singing songs of praise to Infinite Intelligence/God after realizing that they eradicate anxiety. Anxiety mainly attacks you when you focus too much on yourself. The songs of praise thus eliminate anxiety as they make you focus on Infinite Intelligence.
N/B – I used to be against songs of praise because I believed there is no need to praise God. However, I embraced them after realizing that God has to be praised. If we praise our friends, families, and strangers for their accomplishments, why can’t we praise God for what ‘he’ has done?
“Were I a nightingale, I would act the part of a nightingale; were I a swan, the part of a swan, but since I am a reasonable creature, it is my duty to praise God.” – Epictetus, Stoic Philosopher.
4.Realize that You Can Die At Any Moment
Knowing this fact about death enables you to realize that you might be worrying about a future that might arrive when you are dead. It makes you live in the moment and stop worrying about an unguaranteed future.
Know that anxiety is bad for you as it causes increased blood pressure, breathing problems, digestive disorders, and erectile dysfunction (for men). It also reduces productivity, and destroys your intuitive abilities.
Being conscious of the side effects of anxiety will enable you to quickly recognize and ignore anxious thoughts hence preventing you from succumbing to anxiety.
6..Try Medical Marijuana
I used to be against marijuana, but I adopted a positive attitude towards it after realizing that most ancient cultures involved it in their religious practices. Ancient cultures realized its importance on our mental health.
Today, studies have realized that marijuana temporarily eliminates anxious thoughts as it makes individuals feel calm. It also relieves the symptoms of anxiety by making individuals think everything is okay.
N/B – However, you must only use marijuana when free because it will reduce your productivity.
Apart from the above methods, I believe there are many other ways to deal with anxious thoughts. You are free to mention them in the comment box below:
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