Sometimes, when we meet with our friends, the main thing we do is to talk about other folks. We often talk about what some of our friends, relatives, or foes are doing, and where they are in the journey of life. Although we know that talking about others is a waste of time and energy, we still do so every now and then.
As usual, I always diagnose a poor behavior so that I know where it comes from, and for this reason, I thought about the reasons why we talk about others, and I discovered five primary causes of this behavior.
- Human Beings Are Social Creatures
Ancient human beings were highly social creatures because they lived in groups, and depended on them for survival. As social creatures, they were deeply concerned about the whereabouts of other members of the society because they wanted to know if everyone was safe. Moreover, their social nature made them want to know if other people’s actions aligned with the society’s norms and values.
For this reason, they always talked about other people so that they know where they are, and if they were respecting the social norms and values. This need to know other people’s behaviors and their whereabouts persisted into modern times, and for this reason, we find talking about other people irresistible.
- We Want To Know Our Social Status
“Social status is the honor or prestige attached to one’s position in the society. It may also refer to a rank or position that one holds in a group.” – Definitions.net
Today, we value our social status because it determines how people will treat us and the type of friends and spouse we’ll have. Besides this, we think the social status is important because most of us use it to determine our self-worth.
For this reason, we love talking about others so that we know our social status and assess our self-worth. We want to know if our socio-economic lives are better or worse than others so that we know our place in the society.
- It feels good
Sometimes we feel good when we talk about people that have more problems than us. Discussing these people makes us know that our problems are small compared to most people’s problems.
Also, talking about others feels good because it enables you to get into someone’s life. It’s always fun to know how other people live, and this is why we like watching movies, and reality television as they allow us to enter into the lives of other people.
- We have some emotion around those we mostly talk about
We love talking about some people because we love them dearly. For instance, our love for our spouses makes us talk about them in their absence because we can’t stop thinking about them. Similarly, we also love talking about the people we hate because it enables us to cope with our own feelings.
Personally, I have realized that jealous individuals often love talking about others the most because that is the only way they can release their suppressed feelings and emotions.
- To Pass Time
Talking about people is one of the best time passing activity. Sometimes when talking with friends, we exhaust all topics and realize that we can pass time by talking about other people. We might not have any emotional connection with these individuals, but we just talk about them because we have nothing else to do.
Have you ever realized that you mostly talk about other people when you are idle? If you are busy, you’ll seldom find time to talk about others because you’ll have many time passing activities.
I believe it’s not bad to talk about others when we are doing it out of love. However, this behavior is bad if you do it out of comparison, hate, or jealousy because you will start directing a large percentage of your time and energy on the people you are talking about. Moreover, you’ll build feelings of resentment if you continuously talk about the people you hate.
To avoid wasting time talking about others, you must always use your free time to do things that will make you progress in your endeavors.
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The Statistics of the Dead and Why I Choose to be Grateful
If more than 150,000 people die every month, and today none of your friends or family members is dead, then you have a big reason to smile.’ – Sadhguru, Indian Mystic.
Before falling in love with esoteric philosophy, I used to be sad and angry about nothing. My focus on material possessions and the social status prevented me from noticing the infinite blessings I had.
I worried about not having more possessions than my friends, and I was angry at life because some people – who I thought were happy – despised me. This crap ended after I stumbled upon the above quote, meditated on it, and researched about the world’s death rates.
I discovered that more than 2,000 people die every day in car crashes, and about 1 million people die in road crashes every year. Besides car crashes, more than 2.5 million people die from diseases every year, and in total, about 40 million people die every year.
Moreover, I realized that the world has lost about 30 million people from January 1st, 2019 to July 15th, 2019.
These statistics enlightened me that more than 5,000 people die every day, and therefore, more than 10,000 people mourn every day. It then dawned on me that I am a blessed person who must be happy every day because all my family members are alive.
Again, the death statistics reminded me of how stupid I had been: I always worried about lacking replaceable material possessions instead of being thankful that the most precious people in my life were alive. People who are more willing to help me than the rest of the world
I thus shifted my focus from worry to being grateful for the amazing irreplaceable people I had; the only magnificent beings who can go out of their way to help me.
For this reason, I smile every day when I wake up in the morning and fail to receive death news about my family members. I know I will lose my loved ones one day, but in this period that they are alive, I know I have a BIG reason to be happy and thankful for the mysterious grace that keeps them alive.
May the Infinite Intelligence bless all your family members, and enlighten you about their importance in your life so that you love and be grateful for them.
May Peace of Mind be With You.
8 Major Reasons Why Ego is the Enemy
Ego is an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Although it has enabled many individuals to succeed, its side effects have made it the main cause of failure, hatred, separation, and all other negative factors. Here, I’ll enlighten you about the disadvantages of the ego by providing the eight major reasons why ego is the enemy.
1.Ego is Competitive
The ego makes you competitive because it wants you to be better than everyone else. It wants to feel important because it hates equality. This competitive mindset induced by the ego makes you less creative and impatient. Besides, it makes it difficult for you to collaborate with people to achieve a common goal.
2.Ego Prevents You From Focusing on the Process
It’s difficult to build your skills when you are egotistic because the ego focuses more on the end-goal than the process. It mostly cares about results, showing off, glory, and admiration, hence increasing your chances of failure.
3.Ego Prevents You From Making Friends
The ego prevents you from making friends because it makes you arrogant and self-centered. Few people love arrogant, and self-centered folks because they are prone to envy and hate. Furthermore, the ego prevents you from making friends because it loves dominating all conversations to prove that you know everything.
4.Ego makes you Overestimate Your Abilities
Ego makes you believe you can handle everything on your own hence preventing you from working with others. It also makes you unwilling to learn from other folks because it believes you know everything. Moreover, it eliminates the desire to improve your skills because it makes you think you are too skilled for improvement.
5.Ego Makes you Give up Easily
The ego focuses on the outcome and therefore makes you give up easily when you don’t get the desired outcome after a certain period. Moreover, it wants quick success and will thus make it difficult for you to embrace patience when success seems far.
6.Ego results in Poor Decision Making
The ego desires acknowledgment and acceptance. For this reason, it results in you making decisions that align with the need for glory and fame instead of making decisions that will help build your career or improve your skills. Besides this, it prevents you from asking for advice when making important decisions because it makes you excessively arrogant.
7.The Ego Makes You Judgmental
The ego loves judging people so that it feels better than them. It makes you focus on finding faults with other people so that you feel superior to them.
Judging is bad because it disconnects you from love hence preventing you from aligning with Infinite Intelligence, which is a loving power.
8.The Ego Leads to Envy
The ego makes you believe you are the only one who deserves progress hence making you envious when you see other people make progress.
Read ‘Why Ego is the Main Source of Anger and Envy’ for more details on how the ego causes envy.
That being said, you must learn to control your ego because its negative effects can lead to unhappiness and prevent you from making progress.
Thanks For Reading
Hope you enjoyed reading the major reasons that make ego the enemy. You are free to add more reasons why ego is the enemy in the comment box below.
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