Sometimes, when we meet with our friends, the main thing we do is to talk about other folks. We often talk about what some of our friends, relatives, or foes are doing, and where they are in the journey of life. Although we know that talking about others is a waste of time and energy, we still do so every now and then.
As usual, I always diagnose a poor behavior so that I know where it comes from, and for this reason, I thought about the reasons why we talk about others, and I discovered five primary causes of this behavior.
- Human Beings Are Social Creatures
Ancient human beings were highly social creatures because they lived in groups, and depended on them for survival. As social creatures, they were deeply concerned about the whereabouts of other members of the society because they wanted to know if everyone was safe. Moreover, their social nature made them want to know if other people’s actions aligned with the society’s norms and values.
For this reason, they always talked about other people so that they know where they are, and if they were respecting the social norms and values. This need to know other people’s behaviors and their whereabouts persisted into modern times, and for this reason, we find talking about other people irresistible.
- We Want To Know Our Social Status
“Social status is the honor or prestige attached to one’s position in the society. It may also refer to a rank or position that one holds in a group.” – Definitions.net
Today, we value our social status because it determines how people will treat us and the type of friends and spouse we’ll have. Besides this, we think the social status is important because most of us use it to determine our self-worth.
For this reason, we love talking about others so that we know our social status and assess our self-worth. We want to know if our socio-economic lives are better or worse than others so that we know our place in the society.
- It feels good
Sometimes we feel good when we talk about people that have more problems than us. Discussing these people makes us know that our problems are small compared to most people’s problems.
Also, talking about others feels good because it enables you to get into someone’s life. It’s always fun to know how other people live, and this is why we like watching movies, and reality television as they allow us to enter into the lives of other people.
- We have some emotion around those we mostly talk about
We love talking about some people because we love them dearly. For instance, our love for our spouses makes us talk about them in their absence because we can’t stop thinking about them. Similarly, we also love talking about the people we hate because it enables us to cope with our own feelings.
Personally, I have realized that jealous individuals often love talking about others the most because that is the only way they can release their suppressed feelings and emotions.
- To Pass Time
Talking about people is one of the best time passing activity. Sometimes when talking with friends, we exhaust all topics and realize that we can pass time by talking about other people. We might not have any emotional connection with these individuals, but we just talk about them because we have nothing else to do.
Have you ever realized that you mostly talk about other people when you are idle? If you are busy, you’ll seldom find time to talk about others because you’ll have many time passing activities.
I believe it’s not bad to talk about others when we are doing it out of love. However, this behavior is bad if you do it out of comparison, hate, or jealousy because you will start directing a large percentage of your time and energy on the people you are talking about. Moreover, you’ll build feelings of resentment if you continuously talk about the people you hate.
To avoid wasting time talking about others, you must always use your free time to do things that will make you progress in your endeavors.
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How We’ve Let God Down
God created us with the ability to self-reflect. We are the only creatures that can meditate on the infinite miracles that enable us to thrive on this planet.
However, instead of doing that, we constantly worry and stress over non-sense. We create a superficial reality that continuously stresses us for no reason.
As well, we never pause and appreciate the magical present moment and the mysteries of the universe because we are always anxious about useless things. We are addicted to worrying about our social status, and we love spending our time comparing ourselves to others.
Besides, we never meditate on the fact that we are magnificent beings that carry the spirit of God within us, and we seldom take time to smell flowers, watch the sun, the birds, and do other things that remind us of the existence of a magnificent spirit whose primary duty is to ensure that all creatures thrive on planet earth. In other words, most of us have lost the sense of wonder since we never look at God’s creation in awe and take time to appreciate it.
Moreover, we’ve let ourselves become slaves of a system created by tyrants whose only aim is to gain by overexploiting us. Instead of trying to get out of this system by employing ourselves and striving for enlightenment, we’ve let the tyrants govern our minds.
Besides, instead of fighting for the survival of planet earth, we’ve let these tyrants destroy the planet’s natural resources. Our forests are dying, many animals are becoming extinct, our air and water are getting polluted, but we don’t care because we are busy chasing paper, forgetting that money is useless without air, water, and other natural resources.
We’ve also descended into the egoic-consciousness, which makes us perceive ourselves as separate individuals whose main duty is to strive to be richer than others. For this reason, instead of loving each other unconditionally, we continuously judge each other and allow thoughts of envy, malice, and hate to dwell in our minds.
On top of that, we’ve forgotten that human beings are greater than the gods (spiritual entities, e.g angels, elementals, ghosts, etc) because we can attain both the human and god-consciousness. The gods can only attain the God-consciousness since attaining human consciousness is impossible to them. However, we can transcend our human-consciousness by ascending to God-consciousness through spiritual growth, but we are unaware of this blessing because we’ve ignored the spiritual teachings handed down to us by the ancient masters.
Anyway, I don’t think God created us to live this way. I believe the factors that modern society promotes are responsible for this lifestyle that disappoints our Creator. We must thus rise above the modern illusory perception of life and strive to live the way we were designed to live because if we do so, we’ll live a life that delights our Lord God the Creator.
PEACE BE WITH YOU
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Modern Society and the Illusion of a Perfect Life
‘Man’s relentless pursuit of perfection in its countless different guises is the greatest cause of unhappiness in the world. Man mostly postpones his pleasures in life, suspends it until such time as he has the perfect career, the perfect home, or the perfect bank balance.’ – Theun Mares, Return of the Warriors
The media has overly promoted the illusion of a perfect life since it portrays celebrities as individuals with beautiful spouses, families, cars, and houses. As well, most social media users only post the good part of their lives hence making us believe in the illusion of a perfect life.
This illusion has resulted in us postponing happiness since we believe we’ll only be happy when we get a perfect relationship, body, house, job, etc. It makes us fail to appreciate our possessions and relationships because we feel they aren’t perfect. In other words, this illusion results in us failing to appreciate the gift of life as it makes us stress over the imperfect parts of our lives.
Moreover, the illusion of a perfect life makes us feel shameful when facing difficulties hence resulting in us hiding our difficulties. For this reason, we avoid asking for support during difficulties, and we try to deal with them alone hence intensifying their mental side-effects.
As well, the idea of a perfect life has intensified the fear of failure within us because it leads to the belief that failure is a sign of imperfection. We thus avoid chasing our dreams or pursuing anything that can lead to failure because we don’t want to be associated with failure.
Furthermore, believing in the possibility of a perfect life has led to feelings of inadequacy. We feel we aren’t enough, and we believe we are not important because we don’t have a perfect life.
Little do we know that no one lives a perfect life since everybody experiences hardships and tragedies. Besides, we are unaware that rich people, celebrities, and many other people we believe are living a perfect life usually have several aspects of their lives that are imperfect. Some of these folks have committed suicide because they still felt their life was imperfect despite achieving all their goals.
For this reason, I believe anybody who doesn’t find his life perfect today, will never find it perfect in the future, no matter what she achieves because there will always be a segment of her life that will be imperfect. I, therefore, think we should start appreciating our lives and realize that life is perfect the way it is.
Also, we should know that the imperfect parts of our lives are important because they stimulate personal development, and we must awaken to the fact that most of us will never see the need for working hard or improving our lives if everything was perfect.
Lastly, we should discard the illusion of perfection and realize that everything in our life, whether perfect or not, presents an opportunity for progress.
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