I deeply thought about the reasons why we talk about others and discovered five primary causes of this behavior.
- Human Beings Are Social Creatures
Ancient human beings were highly social creatures: they lived in groups, and depended on them for survival. As social creatures, they were deeply concerned about the whereabouts of all members of the society because they wanted to know if everyone was safe. They also wanted to know whether everybody’s actions aligned with the society’s norms and values.
This need to know people’s behavior and their whereabouts persisted into modern times. For this reason, we find talking about others irresistible.
1.We Want To Know Our Social Status
“Social status is the honor or prestige attached to one’s position in the society. It may also refer to a rank or position that one holds in a group.” – Definitions.net
Today, we value our social status because it determines how people treat us and the type of friends and spouse we’ll have. Primarily, we think the social status is important because most of us use it to determine our self-worth.
Therefore, we love talking about others so that we know our social status and assess our self-worth. We want to know if our socio-economic lives are better or worse than others so that we know our place in the society.
2.It feels good
Sometimes we love talking about people with big problems. Discussing these people enlightens us that our problems are small compared to most people’s problems.
Also, talking about other people feels good because it enables us to enter their lives. It’s always fun to know how other people live, and this is why we like watching movies and reality television.
3.We are emotionally attached to the people we talk about
We love talking about some people because we love them dearly. For instance, our love for our spouses makes us talk about them in their absence because we can’t stop thinking about them. Similarly, we also love talking about the people we hate because doing so allows us to cope with our feelings.
Recently, I realized that jealous individuals often talk about others because that is the only way they can release suppressed feelings and emotions.
4.To Pass Time
Talking about people is one of the best time-passing activities. Sometimes when talking with friends, we exhaust all topics and realize that we can pass time by talking about other people. We might not have any emotional connection with these individuals, but we talk about them because we have nothing else to say or do.
Have you ever realized that you mostly talk about other people when you are idle? If you are busy, you’ll seldom find time to talk about others.
I believe it’s not bad to talk about others when we are doing it out of love. However, this behavior is bad if you do it out of comparison, hate, or jealousy.
To avoid talking about others, you must always use your free time to do things that move you closer to your goals.
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